Keep it short and simple
The best first dates are easy to say yes to and easy to end politely.
An hour or two is plenty. You're only trying to answer one question: would I like to see this person again? A short date takes the pressure off you both, and if it goes well, you'll have a reason to plan a second.
Fitting a date around family life
The right time for a first date is whenever you can relax and not watch the clock.
- Think daytime. A weekday coffee during school hours, or a weekend morning when the children are with their other parent, can be easier to arrange than an evening out.
- Sort childcare you trust. Book a sitter, a grandparent or a friend you rely on, so you're not distracted while you're out.
- Keep the children at home. A first date is for the two of you. Meeting the children can wait until you're both sure.
- Be honest about your time. Saying "I need to be home by six for bedtime" is perfectly normal here. Anyone worth seeing again will understand.
Ideas that give you something to talk about
Pick somewhere public, fairly quiet and easy for both of you to get to.
- Coffee or brunch. The classic for a reason. It's daytime, it's relaxed and it's easy to stay longer if you're getting on.
- A walk somewhere nice. A park, a riverside path or along the seafront. Walking side by side makes conversation flow more easily, and there's always something to look at.
- A market or food hall. Lots to see and taste, and plenty of easy things to chat about.
- A museum or gallery. Many are free, they're usually quiet, and they give you instant talking points.
- A drink at a pub with a garden. Choose an early evening slot so it doesn't drift into a late night.
- Something you both enjoy. If you've already found a shared interest while chatting, such as books, gardening or live music, build the date around it.
Ideas to save for later
Some dates are lovely second or third dates but tricky first ones.
- The cinema. You'll spend two hours not talking.
- A long dinner. Hard to leave early if it isn't working, and hard to relax if it's very formal.
- Anywhere at their home or yours. Wait until you know each other much better.
- Day trips far from home. Keep the first meeting somewhere you can easily get back from on your own.
Before you go
A few minutes of planning means you can relax and enjoy yourself on the day.
- Tell a friend where you're going, who you're meeting and roughly when you expect to be home.
- Get yourself there and back. Drive, get the bus or book your own taxi, so you're never relying on your date for a lift.
- Check their profile one more time. The ID Verified tick, their member rating and the Anti-Ghosting badge are all good signs. If anything feels off, our guide to spotting a fake dating profile lists the warning signs.
- Keep the chat on The Single Parent Pond until you've met. There's no need to hand over your number before you're ready.
Trust your instincts. If a date asks you for money, pushes you to go somewhere you didn't plan, or simply makes you uncomfortable, it's fine to leave. You can report a profile at any time using the report button, and the 24-hour Customer Success team is always there to help.
On the day
Be yourself, ask questions and actually listen to the answers.
Nerves are normal, and the other person is almost certainly feeling them too. It's fine to talk about your children, as they're a big part of your life, but leave room to talk about you as well. Put your phone away unless the sitter needs you, keep the conversation light, and don't feel you have to share your whole life story in one go. It's also worth agreeing on who's paying before the bill arrives. Splitting it is completely normal on a first date.
Afterwards
A quick message the same day or the next is always appreciated, whichever way it went.
If you'd like to see them again, say so. If you wouldn't, a kind and honest reply is far better than silence. And whatever happens, take things at your own pace. Introducing someone to your children can wait until you've met a few times and you're sure. For more on staying safe, read how to spot a fake dating profile and what the badges mean.