Take your time
Blending a family is a big change, and it usually goes better when it isn't rushed.
Before you move in together, make sure the children have had plenty of time to get to know your partner, and their children if they have any. Regular time together, such as days out, meals and ordinary weekends, helps everyone get used to each other gradually.
Talk about the practical things first
Agreeing the basics as a couple avoids arguments later.
- Where you'll live. Moving into a home that's new to everyone can feel fairer than one family moving into the other's space.
- Routines and rules. Bedtimes, chores and screen time. You don't need to match exactly, but it helps to agree on the basics.
- Who does the parenting. It usually works best if each parent stays in charge of discipline for their own children, at least at first.
- Money. How you'll share household costs, and how each of you will handle spending on your own children.
Helping the children adjust
Every child will react differently, and that's normal.
- Give them space. If you can, make sure every child has somewhere that feels like their own.
- Keep one-to-one time. Time alone with your own children reassures them they haven't lost you.
- Don't force closeness. Step-siblings may become close or may simply get along. Both are fine.
- Listen to them. Let them say how they feel, even if it's not what you want to hear.
Remember the other parents
If the children have another parent, they'll still be an important part of their lives. Keeping things polite and cooperative makes a real difference to how settled the children feel. And remember to make time for your relationship too. A date night now and then is good for the whole family.